Savior I Come.......

It's amazing that no matter how far I wander I always end up back home.  Home being church and in the arms of God.  I am going to be completely honest I have struggled with my faith lately, I think when you have gone through so much both emotionally and physically it just becomes a struggle.  As a believer I know that these are the times to rely on him most but it just wasn't working for me.  I have been back to church the last 2 Sundays and it has been so comforting, feeling God's presence is such an amazing thing.  I have brought a friend with me that really needs to hear the word and meet the awesome God that I already know so it has been a completely new, amazing experience watching her experience God for the first time.  Whoever finds God, Finds LIFE!

CALIFORNIA DREAMIN

I really enjoy Southern California.  There are so many things about it, where do I begin......shall I start with the weather???... nice and cool in the morning/evening with amazing ocean breezes then around 11 ish it starts to warm up the sun burns off the marine layer and it is just beautiful....never too hot or too cold and pretty much every day you know what to expect.  The food.....so many places I love.....Lee's, Del Taco, In-N-Out, El Torrito and the list goes on, love stopping  by Del Taco in the mornings to grab a coke and a breakfast sandwich from Lee's makes for a great start to the day.  The massages: now I have found a place similar to CA massages here in OKC but the price isn't nearly as good......I think if you buy 5 - 1 hr massages they wind up being $15/hour you give a $5 tip and that's $20 for an hour massage.  Here it's $30 and I started off giving a $10 tip so now I can't give any less so that's double the price.  The beach/ocean......I think I could just stare at the ocean all day every day and never get tired of it.....laying on a towel or sitting in your beach chair and just listening to the tide roll in.....all while reading a book on the Kindle for me equals pure bliss.  The most beautiful for me was Laguna there are so many other beaches to go to but this one was by far my favorite (minus the 750 stairs down/up to get to and from your car).  The ability to see snow capped mountains, the beach and desert all in one day is pretty amazing too! I love driving to Palm Springs for the day and going to the spa where they have I think 7 different hot tubs (all different temps) and a pool for the small fee of $4 on a weekday for all day access (how can you beat that??).  There is downtown Disney with the palm tree lined streets it's beautiful during the day but at night it is even better all the palm tree trunks are decorated with white lights and it is so beautiful!!! I love going out on Saturday nights for dancing and a few drinks if there was a club like this one in OKC I might actually be able to go out to dance and have a good time and not leave feeling horrible about myself. 

Now let me just say this small tidbit......each time I have gone I have been on vacation.  With that being said, normal life, work etc may not be as much fun but I sure do love vacationing there!

Netflix Obsession

Random but the story of my life.  I have a very obsessive personality. I find something I like and I run it into the ground from eating (obviously), gambling (not anymore), reading, facebook, instagram, twitter, jigsaw puzzles (online), youtube, candy crush and for quite a while now Netflix.  I can't stop obsessively watching Netflix.  I clear out my DVR then hook up to the BluRay to watch Netflix, I have found so many random shows that I didn't even know existed and normally would never even consider watching.  I watch documentaries, tv series, movies just about anything that half-way interests me.  I can literally sit in my chair all day and watch Netflix it's ridiculous, I know this, but can't seem to stop.  I have admitted it in writing so for all my readers - there you go, one minor confession to my always boring sometimes embarassing life.  My obsessive personality strikes again!

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad-I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad.

-The smell of rain
-Laying on clean sheets
-Olive Garden
-Japanese Cherry Blossom lotion
-Sleeping in (no alarm clocks)
-Hot Tubs
-Reading a page turner
-Making people laugh
-Thunderstorms
-Sitting on the beach watching the Waves
-Men with pierced ears
-Watching the Lakers & Celtics
-Jersey Shore & Judge Judy
-Dancing
-California sunshine

These are just a few of my favorite things.

I Sometimes Wish.....

I sometimes wish I had someone to go to go to dinner with.
I sometimes wish I lived in LA or Orange County so I could have season tickets to the Lakers.
I sometimes wish that I had someone else to be my primary source of income so I could do what I enjoy or at least something that would make a difference.
I sometimes wish that I had different genetics.
I sometimes wish that I could see God face to face and ask him a few questions.
I sometimes wish that I had a different personality.
I sometimes wish that I could go to the ocean and lay in the sand every weekend.
I sometimes wish that my best was good enough.
I sometimes wish that personality was more important than looks.
I sometimes wish that I would get flowers delivered to me at work.
I sometimes wish I had a more positive outlook on life.
I sometimes wish I knew what I wanted to do for a living before I went to college.
I sometimes wish I could go back in time and change things.
I sometimes wish I didn't have to work so hard to achieve success.
I sometimes wish I wasn't me...........

Decisions, Decisions

So as some of you know I'm an auditor right now but it is a contract position and my contract will be expiring in approximately 3 months. This is very sad news for me because I love what I do, I don't necessarily love going to work every day but who does. So I have a decision to make....where do I go next? I have a few options none of which I am too excited about but options nonetheless. I can apply for a management development program which is going to be very hard to get in to but would hopefully result in a supervisor position, work for another department or go back to total loss. There is one other idea that I have been toying around with more so in the very back of my mind. I have considered relocating for a better job opportunity (with the same company) and as a bonus possibly a new lease on life. I know that some will be very upset to see that I'm even considering this option but to continue to develop my career it may be my only option. So what am I going to do you ask?? I have absolutely no idea!!! Change is scary and we as humans don't like change and tend to resist it.

On a side note an update from a previous blog (from I don't know when). I mentioned that I am using the "snowball effect" to pay off debt and things are going well. My eye surgery is officially paid off and I am now working on my smaller credit card and have developed a significant savings (this was a bonus wasn't planning on doing this until the debt was paid off). I know that I love budgeting and making budgets (mostly for households) it makes me very happy. I recently met with a very good friend and planned a budget to pay off their debt. So.....I mention this because if any of you out there are interested in what I am doing or how please let me know I would be happy to share or help! Thanks for reading!

Views, Opinions & Other Random Thoughts

So I've debated for a while....to post or not to post. Each night before bed a lot of these things have been running through my head so I have decided that I must share.

I love Sonic cokes I would rather eat nothing all day than go without a Sonic coke! The recent winter storm caused me to go without for 3 days and I almost completely lost it. I love everything Celtics and Lakers and for those of you who say I can't like both, you must get over yourself. I have come to love the boys on both of these teams and feel like I know them personally! I watch them whenever they are on TV and am very upset when I know there is a game on and can't watch it. I love to watch tv, a quote from a dear friend "I sit and watch my life pass by while others fulfill their dreams". I can't even begin to tell you all the shows that I watch in addition to NBA games that would be like an alcoholic telling you how many drinks they had today. I have the most amazing best friend, I know that God picked her out especially for me and I love her, she is my soul mate. I have never met anyone that has gotten me the way she does, she doesn't judge me, she accepts me and loves me just the way I am! I love to save money, it is one thing in my life that I can control at this point and it makes me very happy to do so. I prefer staying home all weekend because that is 2 days where I spend $0!!!

I despise the male race (with the exception of my bubby as far as I'm concerned he hung the moon). From past and current experience I have found them to be selfish, self-centered and they lack the ability to sympathize or empathize (I have a very good friend who shall remain nameless that is different and I love him-I hope you know who I'm talking about). And for those women who swear their man is perfect, amazing whatever you believe, you're in denial he will disappoint you and if the opportunity presents itself he will not think of you but himself. God made men and women very different and I continue to be disgusted pretty much on a daily basis by the things they say and do. I'm not into women now so please don't try to get that rumor started! I do enjoy looking at some men-from afar! My biggest pet peeve is when people ask me for advice and I am there to support them and they do the exact opposite! If you don't like my answer don't waste my time by asking me! If you're reading this and wondering if I'm talking about you, I probably am! There are a couple of people that I will never get tired of listening to their "issues" and that is because they are there for me in return. For all the others, stop telling me all of your problems I am not a licensed therapist and you don't heed my advice anyway so what is the point in wasting either of our time! Sorry that may have sounded rude and abrupt but I had to get that off my chest. For my entire life I have always been someone that even strangers feel comfortable confiding in. I can no longer bear all of your burdens! I am a person when I genuinely care about you I take on your burdens as well, I feel what you feel. I think that I may have some type of world record for the amount of times I've been used.......emotionally, monetarily, for personal gain, etc. My mother raised my sister and I to be great friends! And I just don't think that other people were raised that way (my soul mate came by this characteristic naturally). Beware, people will always disappoint you and never expect to get back what you give it just doesn't happen anymore and it is very sad but also very true. You teach people how to treat you (thank you Dr. Phil), learn from your mistakes! I don't want children, Phew!! There I said it and now the whole world knows! No matter how many people tell me "Oh but you are so good with kids". Yes I am good with kids that I can send home! Patience is not my virtue (ask my poor mother) and I have gotten better if those who know me can believe that. Babies are really cute don't get me wrong, if they stayed that way I might consider having one. I have recently heard (around my workplace) of kids being sick, throwing up and snotting on them, having to miss work to stay home (we only have so many days off as it is), expenses, getting in trouble at school, fighting, throwing fits and these are the young ones! I can't handle the idea of giving my kids the keys to my car when they are 16! Are you kidding me! Pregnancy, Drugs, Alcohol---You can raise your kids in church and be the best role model you can be and they still go astray! There are no guarantees in this life and you all know I would get a bad seed!!! So that is my kid rant-none for me thanks! It is very hard for me to be genuinely happy for all of these people that are getting married and having kids......I get it you're happy well I'm not and am so incredibly tired of having it rubbed in my face every day. My biggest fear is being alone forever and maybe it is my biggest fear because I know it will come to fruition. I am very good at putting up a front (I have become very good at it over the past 3 or so years) and truth be told, I'm not! I hate family gatherings, always wondering what is going through their minds "When are you getting married?, etc" Really? Do you need to ask me that? I'm tired of being the only single one it's not an acceptable progression of things for Oklahomans. I am 28 years old and single it's almost like a cardinal sin in Oklahoma and add the fact that I don't want kids to that? I should be burned at the stake! Okay enough of my rants for today there are more but this will be all for now!